Life Coach Question–How do I do it All?

July 13, 2017

Now that we're talking about balance, let's bring up one of the most commonly asked Life Coach Questions--"How do I do it all?" Or, more precisely, "How do I rid myself of the existential angst of having too much to do?" 

Because really, people aren't usually asking a purely logistical question of how the hell do they do everything they need to do in their life. What they want is help with dealing with the stress of trying to do everything, the judgement from themselves and others, and the sheer curse of mortality.

So--unless you're immortal AND not a control freak, it's time for a dose of reality to let you off the hook. You will NEVER balance everything. It's impossible. Because, by definition, a point of balance or equilibrium is infinitely small in both size and time. If, from whatever streak of luck you're on, you've got things balanced, well, just wait half a second. It's a losing game.

This is why we don't play that game. You need to change the rules, change your perspective. Equilibrium isn't about that teeny tiny point. It's about GETTING to it. Focus less on whether you're there or not than on whether you're acting in a way to bring yourself closer to it. If you view balance as an ideal, you're going to drive yourself crazy trying to find that ridiculous point of perfection. If you view balance more as being aware of where you are in space and time so that you can dance with grace, then you'll have a strong core and probably not look like a drunk ape trying to do the macarena.

It's all about right action. If you want to be a control freak, you can try to plan out on paper the percentages of time you should be spending on things like work, fun, marriage, and miscellaneous activity, compare your reality versus the ideal, and self-correct.

If you're not a total freak, however, you can take a few moments just to sit still and rely on your instinct to tell you what to do. What do you really need, right now? What do others need from you? The voice inside you may be small, but it's usually loud enough to suggest SOMETHING, and if what you need is just a gentle correction in one direction or another, that voice is enough.

The other nice thing about the word adjustment is that it's not a big thing. A lot of the time we scare ourselves into paralysis because we Don't Know What To Do. Like there's only ONE THING to do, and the future of the universe depends on it. But if you view doing the right thing as just taking a lot of little steps back and forth, it's easier to take it less seriously, and be able to trust that you'll end up in the right place.