Let’s talk sexuality. This is one of the huge areas where people are distressed, concerned, insecure, triggered, or just plain nuts about. And it’s at the deepest core of our identity, so being able to understand it so that we be our authentic selves is truly important.
Our culture, quite oddly despite its focus on individuality, tends to define sexuality in terms of the other, the observer. How we dress and present ourselves (women, especially) is interpreted as being “for” other people — to “look good,” to “be sexy,” to allegedly telegraph to other people who we are. Sexuality becomes a commodity. Our identities become a commodity. This is wrong.
Before the Greeks and the Romans and the fear of sexuality (and especially the demonization of women’s sexuality), sex was sacred, vital, and literally connected to the health of the land. In the cult of Demeter (read about the Eleusinian Mysteries) people reenacted the story of Demeter, Persephone and Hades as a way of ensuring that the cycles of the earth would continue, and sex was an important, and sacred part of this. Women were priestesses, and sex was a sacred act.
So what does this all mean now? We’ve intentionally co-opted the word sacred (defined as “dedicated or set apart, devoted exclusively”) to reflect our own fear and desire to control what we know we can’t. Instead, how wonderful would it be if we understood the word “sacred” in relation to sexuality as expressing our deepest identity in a way devoted exclusively to our own desire, intentions, and highest good? What if we realized our sexuality was the key to our own power, and that desire and knowledge was not evil, but the source of our vitality, our connection to nature, and our appreciation of ourselves and others as individuals?