Thoughts on Love

February 13, 2019

It's been almost three years since my wonderful husband and I married, in a ring of rose petals in our house. Our love has changed from the romance of first dates to include things such as the practical sharing of stages of disease progression in stomach bugs, and whether that was the dog that farted. In the meantime, one of my children has moved on to college, another has moved out with her own beloved, and the dog now belongs to both of us (sorry Hun). 

Love is a tricky thing to pin down, but above anything it's real. We tend not to like real, preferring the clean lines of distinct love languages or chocolates and dates--and "loving thy neighbor" is easiest when we can get a clear mental handle on what we're giving and be sure that the transaction is clean and done.

But love is not really a give and take; it's alchemy. It's like making a cake out of ingredients, which can be surprising if you weren't really thinking you were making cake. According to C. G. Jung, "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." 

We tend to view love as a gift, and it very much is. But it's also a leap of faith, a loosening of boundaries, a willingness to change and become something unexpected. And if we put conditions and expectations on it, we're narrowing down the possibilities. We prefer the safety of knowing who we are to the risk of failure or embarrassment. 

How many of you love big, and expansively? Who would you be, and who would you love, if you weren't afraid?